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I Remember When...

[ website | twisted_words@livejournal.com ]
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For my daughter. . . [22 Apr 2011|12:46pm]

I remember when I was the greatest person on earth, in your eyes.
I remember when you would smile when you caught me watching you.
I remember when I could do no wrong, according to you.
I remember your tiny little voice when you said, "I love you mommy"
I remember when you believed in me, but I let you down.
I remember when you held my hand and said,"It's ok mommy, I know you are doing the best you can."
I remember when I realized that as a child, you were already a greater person than I would ever be.
why are you haunting me?

I Remember When. . . [20 Mar 2011|02:04am]

I remember when I used to smile, and laughter always felt so good.
I remember when I had a idea and hope for tomorrow.
I remember when I believed in fairytales and happily ever afters.
I remember when I hardly ever cried.
I remember when I found wonder in the unknown.
I remember when I was alive inside.
I just don't remember when I became lost, and a stranger to myself.
why are you haunting me?

AlkalineTrioGirl [01 Nov 2010|03:06am]

I remember when...

I took the train back to the city today.
I figured I could get some work done.
It really sucks, leaving home these days,
I'm allot more content there and I can escape.

Half way through the train ride,
which stretched on for 4 hours,
a girl boarded and asked to sit beside me.
I let her. I packed away my stuff.

I'm never that great with people but
I always wanted to have that quality
where you can just talk to people who you
don't know. On top of this this girl seemed
really cool and interesting.

Out of the blue as I gazed out the window into
the pitch black of the autumn evening I heard
a song I knew pumping for the girls headphones.
I looked up in excitement. As the song ended I spoke.

"You got anymore Alkaline Trio?"

Which she replied

"Sure!. I didn't know it was loud enough that you could hear it sorry"

Eventually we got talking about Halloween and different things.
She said she was doing Architecture, she said it was hard, she
told me her town is way better than mine...it probably is.

When we got off the bus she had to get a taxi, that's when
I caught her name, Sarah. I said goodbye and walked to get
the rail home.

I stood in the que to get a ticket when all of a


Its Sarah!

"Ya, there were no taxi's, I'll have to get the tram too"

So we continued where we left off talking about our crazy
friends, films and Berlin.

We went our separate ways and said goodbye for the second and final time.

Goodbye Alkaline Trio Girl (and thanks for the sweet)
why are you haunting me?

Nostalgia [04 Oct 2010|03:00pm]

[ mood | blah ]

I remember when we were together
and all the highs and lows involved.
The truth is I want to feel it all again.
The magnificent highs,
and the heart-tearing lows...
Life is to easy now,
i want to feel something other than this default emotion...

why are you haunting me?

[04 Apr 2007|10:41am]

I remember when you called me everyday because you wanted to hear my voice. I remember when you called an hour later after a fight to apologize because you didn't want me to go to bed angry. I remember when thinking of you brought me tears of joy and warmth in my heart. 

What happened to us?

Oh yeah, I forgot. It's over.
why are you haunting me?

[01 Apr 2007|07:41pm]

i remember when i could think about you and not be bitter.
when i would stay up all night watching you play twilight princess instead of going home.
when working midnights with you was the best times of my life.
when you talked me out of killing myself.
when i talked you out of giving up.
when we TALKED.
when you LISTENED.
when you loved me.
why are you haunting me?

Childhood [13 Nov 2006|02:28am]

I remember when we used to be kids. It felt like we were a family with bonds and connections beyond our blood connection.
We talked together, we laughed together, we ate together, we played around together, and many others "we's"...
It doesn't feel or seem like it anymore.

And I miss that.
why are you haunting me?

[17 Oct 2006|11:53am]

I remember when we used to laugh all the time
But now all we do is fight.
I remember when we use to spend hours talking
Now all we do is stare.
I remember when you use to love me.
But now I know that you where never there.
1 photo| why are you haunting me?

[26 Jul 2006|02:45pm]

I remember when I had direction, now im just lost.
4 photos| why are you haunting me?

... [13 May 2006|08:22pm]
i remember when you promised to teach me how to skateboard.
why are you haunting me?

I remember when... [28 Apr 2006|10:31pm]


You never cared how you looked...

why are you haunting me?

[30 Mar 2006|09:38pm]

I remember when I was innocent.
why are you haunting me?

[14 Mar 2006|01:54am]

I remember when ebay actually had good deals, and sellers didn't just use it as a full-priced store.  :P
3 photos| why are you haunting me?

[09 Mar 2006|08:19pm]

I remember being pushed on the swing, I was so little and the world seemed unending. Back then, before he permanently smelled of alcohol. When he’d still look at me in the eyes, buy me presents for my birthday, talk to me at all. And now, when he leaves Friday after work, saying he has “things to do…work related” but he’s carrying his weekend bag full of clothes and cologne and his therapeutic pillow and I know he’s going to see Her. The barely 30 year old girlfriend, who he doesn’t even try to hide from me and mom. She used to go with him to my recitals, I’d come into the auditorium, my young face coated with too much stage make up and she’d smile at me, introducing herself every time like I’d never seen her before. My mom would watch me so intensely whenever she was around. And then it was definite, we came home early from a day trip to the beach, my mom and me slightly sun burnt and sandy and ready to fall into bed. We walked in, carrying tote bags full of still damp sunflower towels, and saw them kissing right in the foyer. Like they couldn’t make the effort to move into his bedroom. I remember he pulled away from her quickly, the way my boyfriends do when we heard parents entering the room-such a young, shameful move, and he looked right at me. He laughed then, twisting his wedding ring around his finger. “You have a nice day, girls?” I nodded as my mom dropped her bag; sun block rolled out of it and slammed into my flip-flop foot. She pushed me aside and went upstairs.
Then he took her hand, the blonde girlfriend, and said, “I’ve got some things to do. For work. I’ll be back later in the week.” As soon as they were outside, I could see her laugh, clinging to my father, in on the joke.
That night, I snuck downstairs to get a drink of water. My mother was slamming through the cabinets, throwing out every snack food we had, all sugary drinks, every “fat maker”. She turned and saw me, her face stained with eyeliner tears, and hit me. I guess I looked like him.
I miss innocence.
why are you haunting me?

[29 Jan 2006|08:39pm]
I remember when all 3 of us were best friends.
But 2 girl and 1 guy combination, never work's.
1 photo| why are you haunting me?

i remeber when... [25 Jan 2006|05:35pm]
everything was alright.
i remeber when you held me close like nothing else in the world mattered.
i remember looking up at the stars with you, it was just like a movie.
i remeber jet-skiing with you.
i remember when you loved me.
i don't know if you still do.
do you?
i'm frightened to ask.
why are you haunting me?

I remember when... [08 Jan 2006|07:08pm]

I used to be the eternal optimist, but that was so long ago. I don’t remember when I started to become more cynical in my thinking and my judgments. Although the eternal optimist is still flickering in my soul, it works feverishly to keep my cynicism from overtaking my thoughts and beliefs. In my younger days, I always viewed a cynic as someone who was old, embittered with their own self-loathing that prevented them from enjoying life, finding the good in people and always seeing the golden lining. My greatest fear in life is becoming that person, and thus also, my biggest regret.
why are you haunting me?

[25 Dec 2005|03:37pm]

I remember when I celebrated Christmas.

Damnit I miss it so much. Even if it's miostly for my dad's sake.
why are you haunting me?

[25 Dec 2005|05:31pm]

I remember when I loved christmas.
Now I hate it.
why are you haunting me?

[23 Dec 2005|01:19pm]

[ mood | amused ]

i remember when things weren't okay. we talked it over, now everything is good. i love him.

why are you haunting me?

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